Hey All, When a loved one passes........we each react differently. I usually am one to react emotionally. I had no idea how much emotion I would display when it was all said and done.
My Dad was in Bar with his fathers friend, who was spending gold coins for drinking money. Dad, having three small kids at home, traded him 5 dollars for the coin. he didn't have much free cash, but he recognized an opportunity and tried to seize it. Dads' Grandmother, Mercy Hart, exchanged 5 dollars with him for the coin when Dad was on hard times.............with the understanding that he could redeem the coin for the same price when he had the chance. When that time had come, Mercy reneged and wouldn't honor her agreement. When Mercy passed, the coin went to her only child, my Grandfather. My Grandfather decided to right a wrong and returned the coin to my Dad.
Grandmom Scarborough had passed away around Thanksgiving 1987, it was a difficult time for all of us who loved her. She was the Matriarch of the clan..............you had to know her to understand her intrinsic value to each of us as a person. She didn't understand her value, impact or importance to her family.
In February 1985 and I moved into Grandmoms' house. My father had given me a cigar box with many old coins in it. He told me to hold on to this box for safe keeping. At the time I didn't understand................ I would. I removed the bottom drawer from my dresser and put the box under it, then replaced the drawer. I told Tom where it was and what had happened............just in case. In this box was a 5 dollar gold coin dated 1888. As far as I was concerned the coins belonged to my Dad.............in May 1986, I became their caretaker. So it goes.................After Dad had passed, .Grandmom informed me that the gold coin reverted back to her. I didn't argue...............I had to live here. I asked if she wanted me to get it for her..........she told me to leave it where it was. I was slightly confused but didn't pursue it.......my mistake.
In November 1987, Grandmom, who was on her death bed was questioned by Dads' sister "H". She wanted to know the location of the coin. Grandmom told her what she thought was the truth..........only it wasn't accurate. Dad didn't reveal the fact that he had given me the box of coins to his Mother..................including the gold one. I seem to be in the wrong place at the wrong time..................I would never shake this sense of bad timing. Carl is my cousin and "H"'s son. He asked about the coin and I told him the story, then produced the coin at his request to view it and then returned it to the box. When Grandmom died.....all kinds of trouble ensued. It seems that Grandmom had a habit of sticking 5,10 and 20 dollars bills in junk mail envelopes and there were a few large plastic trash bags full of them in the unused bedroom. Uncle Mike, Dad's brother had discovered this and took all of the money......over 13,000 dollars and gave some to one of his children that was there, then put the rest between the mattresses and went to the bar. My two Aunts "H" and "M" found the money while searching and then tore the house apart looking for whatever of value that could be found..........it was literally a treasure hunt.
My Dad had stored some of his personal valuables in the drawer of the gun cabinet and I removed them and put them in my bedroom so they wouldn't get swept up in the free for all. When the gold coin hadn't been found in the search, "H" was told by my uncle that I removed some things from gun cabinet. That was where the coin was kept by Dad, before he gave it to me to hold on to............and the location that Grandmom told "H" on her deathbed. I wasn't aware of any of this until after the funeral.
I was assigned to be a pallbearer and then "H" who arranged it all, changed this without explanation. She was very cool towards me and I had cousins and aunts staring at me and whispering. What the "H" was going on? We had the viewing and when we all were headed to the cemetery, Aunt"M" heard me voicing my confusion as to what was going on.........and she gave me the story. My temper rose to just below the surface, I was being judged a thief.......................when I possessed this coin for over two years. I was replaced as pallbearer by another of "H"s sons..........who actually had stolen from Grandmom. Talk about crazy. Carl and his brother held up traffic for the procession which gave me the opportunity to position myself as a pallbearer. "H" called me a thief in front of everyone as she stood directly across from me. She "wasn't going to allow someone who stole from her mother to carry her casket". I said " Lady, I didn't know where you got your information, but you are sadly mistaken........................and there isn't anybody here man enough to move me"! I almost said that she already had a thief ...........when she allowed her other son to carry it..............but this wasn't the place or time for that. So we had seven pallbearers. Only Carl and I remained graveside after the funeral. I was so upset and started to cry, Carl just hugged me as I let it out. He told me he knew the truth and would set his Mom straight. We each put a shovel of dirt over the casket and said our own private final good bye.
When we got back to Grandmoms house after the funeral, I got the whole story from "H" and "M". I explained what had happened and that Tommy and Carl, who were present, could verify it............and I was called a liar. She stated that they were just covering for me and that Grandmom wouldn't have lied to her. I ended up giving her that coin..................it was more important to her than me. It's ironic...................Dad had said that "H" always wanted that coin and that she would get it over his dead body.............and she did.. Talk about prophecy. Their was never an apology or I made a mistake from"H". She went on acting like nothing ever happened. Maybe she still thinks I'm a thief................I really don't care now............but I did then. What had transpired at Grandmomos death was completely shameful and a disgrace. I buried my Grandmother and "H" on the same day.
I still have that cigar box and all the other coins in a safe deposit box at the bank............every time I see it my mind takes me back to that unpleasant time. Thanksgiving wasn't what was in the hearts of family.............greed and entitlement were. I would happen again with Joe and Mom's estate at another Thanksgiving. What a life.
Until next time.........................................God Bless.
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