Friday, October 21, 2011

The Anniversary Gift

Hey All,       Life has many important events.. Some people are never good at remembering them and some get so caught up in lifes' daily routine that they miss something that may seem routine, but are important to someone who's important to you.
         March 1982.    While in the Army, I was assigned tho the 213th Aviation Co. (ASH) APO 96271 at Camp Humphreys Korea.(South).   I was assigned there in May 1981 and re-enlisted and stayed for a total of three years.  I was getting married and  and before that could happen , Charlie was on the way.  It wasn't happening according to plan but, being a Dad was something  I just knew I was going to love.  His biological mother decided she wanted an abortion when she found out and I was extremely in opposition.  We don't kill babies, there was no middle ground for me.  She told me it was her body and she could do what she wanted and I had nothing to say about it... ........I thought this over for about 5 seconds and replied that if she did this than we were not getting married.........period.  I reasoned that we talked about having kids and were in agreement.   Even though this baby was coming sooner than expected, it was still part of the plan  and what she was considering is plain wrong.   How could she even be thinking about this?   At that very moment I knew I was getting married to the wrong person. We were married the beginning of October 1983.   She was going stateside and I knew what was happening, but  there no options...........forward march.
         Charlie was born in St Vincent's,  a Catholic hospital in Suwon  the beginning of 1983.  I wasn't permitted in the delivery room by the nuns who ran the hospital so I sat on the floor in the hallway across the delivery room.. I was very nervous and  as such had a very upset stomach. which caused everyone that walked down the hall to gasp for air as they passed and stare at me.  I couldn't blame them, the foul air was thick.................I could barely stand it myself.
       Come September  I received orders for the NCO Academy.  I would be gone for 1 month and farther north in Korea.  I wouldn't be home for our 1st anniversary, but would arrive a few days after.  I always told her that if she did something wrong or made a mistake to be upfront about it.  I would be upset if I had to hear that something happened from someone else.   When I returned from the Academy,  she brought this up.  She had accepted rides in a car from a Staff Sargent, that she wouldn't name, to and from Camp Humphreys and some of my friends had seen them together.  She wanted me to know in case someone mentioned it.   I was naive to say the least.  
      It was a Friday when I came back from the Academy,  a few days after our 1st anniversary.    Normal marital relations resumed on my return and by the end of the day  Saturday, I knew I was in trouble.  I experienced some intense pain and from the training classes we received after coming in country,  I knew exactly what was wrong.   I went to the Dispensary and was treated for VD.   I had a variety of emotions running through me at tha time.  I was walking around trying to think.  What am I supposed to do now?  How do I handle it?  I thought long and hard and decided that there were two options.  Make a big fuss and she may leave and take Charlie with her, in which case I would never find them among the thousands of small villages and cities.   Or, deal with it and try to let it pass with as few waves as possible.   Try to forgive and keep a family together or get upset and God only knows what she will do. .................I felt I was a man with no real options...........again.
        When we finally did come to the Sates , I was assigned to Fort Bliss, El Paso, Texas.  Within a couple of months she had a boyfriend and at 6 months moved out.   She didn't get her green card while we were still married and as such had to go back to Korea.  That as you may know  didn't stop her.
          Excuse me.............. I got this as a anniversary gift and would like to return it.  If only.............When you do they right thing there is frequently a cost that you don't first consider.   Sometimes that right thing is the really the only choice.  I have made more mistakes than I care to admit and in retrospect as long as no one had to pay for them but me...........................then it wasn't as bad as it could have been.........  But, Charlie had paid too.
                              Until Next Time............................God Bless.


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