Friday, September 23, 2011

Idle Hands

Hey All,     Some things just happen with no rhyme or reason.  Life unfolds in the strangest of ways sometimes.  Accidents happen, right?   This may be one of those stories.  Or, Grandmom may have been right, "things happen just the way they are supposed to, even when you can't see it at the time".
       I worked away from home for 4 years and only came home for 2 days a week.  During this time I lived with my brother Tom.  He put a roof over my head so I could take this job which we desperately needed at the time for health care. I had way too much time on my hands and not being at home and of limited resources,  I spent my time off reading, doing Soduku puzzles and looking things up on the computer. 
       One day in the beginning of May 2009, I was surfing the web, killing time until I had to go to work.  I Googled my full name and got a hit that that not only surprised me but had my full attention and curiosity.  It seemed that someone was looking into my divorce from Charlie's  biological mother in El Paso Texas.  This information was on a website called Dads Divorce.Com.  This person was looking for specific information about children born to my former marriage for their "family member".  I wasn't sure what this was about and the posting was a week short of being 1 year old, but I decided that I would investigate.  I registered into this website and left a message for the author, but didn't get a response.   He wasn't visiting this site very often.  I read every posting he made to learn as much as  I could.  Maybe I would get a lead.  Finally, I researched the author's log in name and found him at another site about BMW's.  He was online  at the time but the site wouldn't allow me to send a message unless I was a member.  I registered for the site but he was offline by then,  It was frustrating.  He was right there and I missed him.  I decided to leave a message for him that only informed him about the message at Dads Divorce where I had included my email.
        Charlie has two sisters he didn't know about.   Their names are Crystal and April. The searcher was an Uncle and agreed to help his eldest niece in the search.  She had found out she had a sibling by accident when applying for a security clearance in the Military.  Her parents never told their daughters about Charlie and were against them looking for him when they finally  did know about him.  These kids all had something in common besides a birth mother.  Their birth mother left them with their fathers when they were young and didn't look back. I guess motherhood isn't instinctive for all women.  I still had to tell Charlie and wasn't sure how to approach him with this revelation.
         Charlie had lived with the sense of rejection over this for some time.   He had asked me a a young boy "why didn't my mom love me"?  It's a tough question to answer.  I told him that she loved him enough to leave him with me because she knew that I could take better care of him.  Where those words came from I'll never know,  they were on my tongue without thought.
          I had exchanged emails with Crystal and she had sent me a photo of the girls together for Charlie.  I didn't reveal his name to his sisters until I had Charlie's  permission.  I wanted to be sure this was something he wanted but I felt strongly that he would.  I printed out everything from my initial search of my name to all the emails from the Uncle and Crystal along with the photo in a folder and called and told Charlie we needed to see him.  It was all a mystery  and was kept that way until he arrived.   Penny and I sat on the patio with Charlie and gave him the folder and  we took the direct approach and told him.  He was quiet at first as he absorbed it all., then asked us questions and we told him what we knew.
       They are all in touch now.   Crystal is being deployed soon and plans a visit with Charlie, Colleen and Baby Riley before leaving.  This is one of the most amazing things that I have ever been involved in.  It was a privilege. I guess idle hands are not always the devils' workshop. Sometimes.....God does work in mysterious ways and sometimes he works right out in the open,
       Until next time............God Bless.

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