Thursday, September 29, 2011

The Boy

  Hey all,    Many people love to go camping.  We get away from the grind and have a little R&R. They can be memories for a lifetime.
   The boy was about 9 years old and it was summertime. The  three brothers used to camp in the backyard as many kids do.  The two Younger brothers would make a "Fort" out of blankets, pieces of plywood  and any thing else they could find.  They loved being outdoors,  their time was spent there as much as possible......... usually together.   Most of the time it was just the two of them as the "Oldest"   was four years older  at 13.  He was avoided and he wasn't welcome in the Fort.  Lets just say for now that the Oldest was not sociable. Putting it nicely
    All the boys were out in the backyard camping this warm summer night.  The Oldest was apart from the other two in his own tent.  It was a small nylon two man tent  and was set up about 30 feet away from the fort.   As happens with most all siblings, the Younger two had a disagreement over something,  it was trivial but, boys will be boys.  The disagreement was big enough to cause the"Middle" brother to leave the Fort to avoid a further physical altercation.  The Oldest  could hear all of this commotion and invited the "Middle" to stay with him instead of going in the house.  The Middle hesitated a little because he knew that his older brother could turn on a dime and he would be in even bigger trouble.  The Oldest coaxed him and told that it was no big deal and he would like to camp with him.  The Middle let down his guard, after all, they were brothers.  Right?  How many times was it going to take for him to learn?
      The Middle picked up his pillow and blanket that the Youngest tossed out of the Fort.  After they had settled in the Oldest zipped up the tent door, the brothers talked a little and the Middle thought that this wasn't so bad.   Then the Oldest started talking about sex.  The Middle knew nothing about this and was very uncomfortable.   The Oldest grabbed the Middles genitals and then exposed himself.  The Oldest had gotten the Middles' naked genitals in his hand and wouldn't let go, causing the Middle a great deal of  pain.  He wanted the Middle to touch him and the Middle refused...............  the Oldest used force to get his way.  When it was over, the Oldest instructed the Middle not to tell.anyone or he would get him.  He would also tell everyone it was the Middles' fault............... that he started it. The Middle eventually was let out of the tent and went in the house to his bed.  It was very late. but, the kitchen door was left unlocked and the light on all night.  The Middle was confused as he always was when it came to the Oldest.  Why would he do this?  Why did he always want to hurt me?  What's wrong with me?  The Middle was embarrassed, and ashamed, he knew what happened was wrong, a sin..  He felt guilty for having participated and thought that this was somehow his fault.
      The Middle experienced physical abuse from the Oldest for many years.  This was a standard in their house.   He kept this secret for over 40 years.  He still feels the same about it as he did back then..... .... sometimes still wonders what's wrong with him.    In his mind he knows that it wasn't his fault but the wounded little boy some how is still with him. 
       The story is very personal, so no names are mentioned.  I know this protects the guilty, but telling this in the third person makes it possible to tell.
                             Until the next time......................God Bless.

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