Thursday, September 22, 2011

Grandmom and the Kid

Hey.   Grandmothers are special people.  They have the wisdom that time has taught them and the love born  of motherhood that is unique to a woman.  Their loving words and gentle hands are a memory never to be forgotten and always to be cherished. 
      Grandmom Scarborough was a very special woman and the matriarch of the Scarborough clan.  She had 4 children  and quites a few grandchildren.  She would often present herself as a tough lady and prided herself on her fortitude.  Her family saw this part of her but another as well.  She was the most tenderhearted woman I knew back then.  She opened her home to a few of her grandchildren at different times over the years when ther was a troubled homelife or a need. My son and I were recipients of her generosity.
       It was February 1985 and after 6 years in the Army I had an opportunity to apply for Warrant Officer.  The only problem was that I would have had to make provisions for my son Charlie.   If I was deployed or whenever I had field duty he would have to have a legal guardian.  If I saw combat or was killed in war he wouldn't have any parent.  I was divorced at the end of my tour of duty and became a single parent.  His biological mother decided she "didn't want to be a wife or mother anymore" and left  us 6 months before  never to be seen again.  Charlie was 19 months old when this happened and I  was the only parent he had left and decided that the only real choice was to be a full time Dad.
      We came home from El Paso,  Texas at the end of February 1985.  My brother Tom volunteered to share in the driving duty home, so I sent him a plane ticket and we drove straight through.  I needed a place to live for a little while.  My parents had a dispute with each other over my staying at home with my Dad for it and Mom against it.  This didn't surprise me much as Mom didn't want this to interfere with her " lifestyle".  Tom and Joe, my brothers still lived at home. Mom said that" I made my bed now now sleep in it".  Good ole Mom, I could always count on her compassion.  
       My Grandmother offered us her home when she learned of our circumstances from Dad. I felt a great sense of relief and gratitude.  Starting a new life under these circumstances was hard and her generosity to us was  much appreciated as we got our feet back on solid ground.
       My father and brothers spent agreat deal of time a Grandmom's house.  It was always the gathering place for us as boys and early adulthoood.  I'm not sure when it started but Charlie was affectionately called "the kid" by the family.  I suppose since he was the only little child to live in this house in a long time.  Grandmom was the greatest person for Charlie at this time.  He needed a female role to show him love and she just naturally excelled and gladly accepted this position.  I got a job and worked 3rd shift for a little while and then managed to get 2nd shift.  Grandmom made sure Charle was fed and bathed.  She took him out in the yard to play and let him watch Johnny Carson with her.  Even though he had his own bed, I would often get home from work to find him sleeping on the couch all night with her as she slept.  When I talked with her about spoiling Charlie she just said that "I make special allowances for him".   Grandmom  was 75 years old at this time and there were times that she was overwhelmed with one so small and energetic, so I made arrangements for child care on a regular basis. Charlie was as good for Grandmom as she was for him.
      Grandmom died in end of November 1987.   I know how very lucky we were to have her in our lives.  Like us, she may not of been perfect.......... but, I know that her love to us was pure and perfect.  She was the 1st woman Charlie knew in his young life that showed him he was loved.  When  someone in your life, whether they are family, friend or stranger extends themselves to you ........they are a tremendous Blessing and are to be considered a treasured gift. I love you  Grandmom........Thank you.

       Until next time...........God Bless.


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