Wednesday, October 31, 2012

In Search Of....

Hey All,    Each of us has searched for something at at least once in our lives......and  I don't mean  Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster.  Sometimes, what we seek isn't an object or a person. Sometimes, .it was never missing and sometimes.......... it will never be found.
    I was asked by someone for of all people.  It's like asking a blind man for directions. It was said, that given my background, at least what they knew of it, that I may be able help them understand .  A relative of this person came from a family background I could relate too.  This person , I call "Relative" frequently purchased things and stayed in contact with their family even though they lived in another state.  Relative now had a family of their own and could be considered to be wealthy by many standards.
     Relative grew up in a home that was far from "Ward and June Cleaver" and  tried to find their place and role in the internal family structure when they were a child.........and as an adult. There were siblings and Relative was a middle child...........I guess most of this is how I am similar.
      I am certainly not in a position to judge......only to ponder and offer an opinion.   My reply was that Relative was still searching...........looking for the piece in their life that was noticeably absent to them......but not to their family.  Love and acceptance at the very basic level and first begins as a child at home.  Who we will  become is affected if we are treated differently or less favorably than our siblings  This appears to me to be obvious.  I believe that Relative has void from a Maternal and Paternal level and through visits, phone conversations and buying things that their parents that they can not for themselves is pushing to be loved and treated as their siblings are. How can someone express this?  "Hey I'm your kid too!  Don't I count?  Don't I deserve your affection?  I am right here in front of you.  Don't you see me?   Won't you show your love to me too? How long do I have to wait?  What do I need to do?  Hey, I'm your kid too.....aren't I?"  This is a unending search for  love and acceptance.........looking for parental approval.  Our bodies age and we feel it as times goes by..........but our hearts can get stuck and hampered by not getting the nurturing love we crave so deeply.  Our needs are foundational to our growth physically and emotionally..........without proper care and nourishment our growth in any form is delayed or worse strangled. It's like looking for water in middle of desert. I pray you find it.
      Sometimes this desire can  lead to a lifelong attempt to mend a broken bridge in your heart.  You're not the one who broke it.........but you're the one stranded on the other side.  It's extremely difficult to change these feelings.  Some get to point when they realize that nothing they do will change the past or future losses with someone so important to them. They stop walking into that closed door...............they start the long journey around it.  I wish these travelers a safe and successful trip...........they need and deserve it.
                 Until next time............God Bless.

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